Chicago bound

Headed to chicago for a last minute trip.  So excited to spend time with my youngest sister and see my parents!  It looks like great weather ahead (much nicer then the day we spent there in July!).  I am hoping to put our toes in the sand let brynn do a little lake swimming.  And a long run along lake michigan is calling my name.  Pictures to follow later!

Parenting Pressure

The other day (in one of our many recent long car trips) the John Mayer song "daughters" came on.  I remember finding so much meaning in it just as a college kid, and now listening as a parent...wow.   It was one of those moments that I was just so struck with the responsibility of being a parent.  It really does affect another persons ENTIRE life journey.  Whoever wrote this song must have been impacted by a broken girl, wanting to probably wring the neck of her parents, but instead just wrote a song.  Is that what you picture?  It just reminds me that what I am doing with Brynn is something eternal, not just about whether she will do well in school or behave in a grocery store.  But what Trey and I are doing are going to possibly affect her future marriage, or possible children.  When I step back and look at the whole picture, I'm not going to lie, it is scary. 

Working in the mental health field, I have conversations with adults on a regular basis whose struggles and hardships can derive back to issues of parents. Gosh. Talk about pressure. I am a parent.  When they are talking about the things they remember about childhood (good and bad) I am making mental notes not to do that in my home.  It is overwhelming.  It is one of those things that I already find myself putting off at times, 'ill teach her that tomorrow', 'we will do that more often when she is older', etc etc.  But time is of the eseence.  I know she is only 10 months, but I don't want to look back in 15 years and wish we would have started things earlier.  The point of this is, I see how easy it can be to think how your decision in the moment will not possibly have any impact on anyone but yourself......but it does, or it might.

Lately I have been thinking about certain people I know and how even before their child is born, decisions are being made that will affect them.  Already cheating on their spouse or making work a top (and only) priority.  Trust me, I am fully aware that I am NO where near a perfect parent. I pray that the decisions I am making are ones that will help mold and shape her into the person that Jesus wants her to be.  I pray that my mistakes are covered by grace and that she is not throwing herself into others, chasing after the wrong things in life.  I pray that she is able to rest in knowing that her identity comes from God, that she is confident and comfortable in that.  The list goes on, it's a scary world.  But we have a big God, a gracious God.  I pray for Trey and I, that this list of prayers will continue every day, that we will be reminded of the great responsibility we have in raising this precious daughter of ours.

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

7 months!

Brynn is days away from hitting the 7th month mark of life.  I remember the days when I couldn't even imagine her being this old.  I would look at 9 month clothing and just think how big they were, surely she would never get big enough to wear them (obviously i knew that she would...you get what Im saying).  But it happened, and all of the sudden she went from infant baby to looking-like-a-little-girl baby.  I can see personality blooming and have glimpses into what her laugh will sound like, what she might look like in a few years.  It is so much fun.  I love cuddling a little baby but gosh, it is so fun to play too.  She is laughing, smiling (ALL the time), grabbing every single thing she can get her hands on, moving, "talking to her toys", and eating baby food!

The one thing people seem to tell us over and over is how happy she is.  This girl is smiling 90% of the time, I can't get over it.  Talk about melting a heart when all you have to do is look at her and a giant smile appears.  She seems to love everyone she meet and so far (fingers crossed) we aren't going through the phase of only wanting mom or dad.

She is quite the vulture though, I don't ever give her the credit she deserves for her fast moves.  Just when you think it is out of reach, oh no...she has it.  I really wasn't expecting to have a baby have quicker reflexes than me, but she is proving that theory wrong.  Sitting at restaurants have become a challenge, a goodbye to days of sleeping baby in the carseat.  With her engagement in our food, we knew it was time for baby food.  She has tried: bananas, sweet potatoes, carrots, pears, and peas.  She is a fantastic eater!  I wasn't sure what to expect, but we had the video camera ready for it.  Unfortunately her low key personality created for an anti-climatic event.  She was not phased at all by her first taste of something other than breast milk.  And hasn't since.  Nonetheless, I am so grateful how easy it has been thus far.

No crawling yet.  She is SO close, gets on all 4s and rocks that lil bod of hers.  It is adorable and exciting, but I know life will change when that first move is made, so we will be patient.  Until then, she has found her own ways of moving.  If she has her heart set on something, she finds a way.  It is amazing really.  Scooting, rolling, backwards crawl, etc. it's all happening.

With 90 degree weather around here this week, we might be making our way to a pool.  I attempted with her the other day but even though the weather is hottttt, the pool is not :/  I think she will be a water baby....or rather, really hope!  Next week we are headed to the lake and I couldn't be more excited for a little vacation!  Even though I have prepared myself that I will not be able to read 3+ books this year.  Times are a changing...

And some pictures....

Resurrection Sunday

Easter just seemed to kind of sneak up on me this year, anyone else?  I seem to think of it as an "april" holiday but I know that is not always the case.  Even though I had been following along with a "holy week" devotional through She Reads Truth, it still seemed as though there was not enough preperation.  Not only with easter dress, food, decorations (okay very much lack of decoration); I felt as though I wasn't able to really prepare my heart to grasp the reality of what that day is about.  Jesus conquered death, it becomes something we just get used to.  Now if someone claims to have come back from death, it is all over the place (isnt the book heaven is for real about that?).  And yet, this supernatual event occurred and changed everything, but we are so quick to glance over.  Every year I seem to be frustrated with myself that I didnt' allow myself more time to sit in awe of this fact.  Alright, off my soapbox.

It was such a wonderful easter weekend spent with family and friends over here at the Barclay household.  The weather was not so great, but we didn't let that stop us from dressing up in our easter best.  My sister joined us for church and afterwards our good friend Jason came over for brunch.  It was so fun to be together.  Later in the day, Trey's parents and brother came down to have dinner.  Trey and I always get our cheesecake factory fix when we are with them, even getting cheesecake to go!  It was a day of indulgence, thats for sure.

Here are some Brynn pics (i know thats what most of you came for anyway..)

2 guys and a girl

Last year 2 of my best friends from high school and I all happened to be pregnant around the same time. This was not planned, even though our husbands are suspicious. S now that babies are moving and parenting is settling in, we decided to get together to introduce them to each other. We came together last month in Cincinnati as it was one of the most convenient locations for all of us (Nashville, columbus, Knoxville). My aunt was generous enough to let us invade her house for the weekend. It was so fun meeting these babies and watching these beautiful friends parent and love on their little ones. I can't get over how far we have all come in our friendship and life.

Here are some pictures, you now can get a glimpse into how hard it is to get 3 babies to photograph together :)

Prepare for photo overload....presenting: Parker Calvin Ryan, Jamin Cope Garrod, and Brynn